BY PEYTON FINE
Your guide to guys at The Game.
For many of Harvard students, Harvard-Yale is their only exposure to football of the year. Many of my friends don’t actually care about the nuances of the sport and instead ask me, “What should I know about the players? Like, can you tell me who is ok to date? I mean, The Game is home to the best after-parties, and you never know who might turn up.” So, here are some sever overgeneralizations of each position for your perusing pleasure.
1. Quarterback—He has the world on the string, the big man on campus. He is used to being in control. Every play the ball is in his hands. From a physical perspective, he has a strong upper body and a particularly built throwing arm. He is the leader of the team and everything falls in line behind it…including his dates.
2. Running Back—He is used to having the work done for him. The offensive line opens holes for him on every play. Will you be doing the work in the relationship? The one plus: running backs tend to be shorter, so shorter girls can finally take photos with their dates and have both heads in the frame.
3. Wide Receiver—He is one of the best athletes on the team. He can run, jump, and has great hands. The ball finds its way into his hands after the quarterback makes the throw. Will you be able to find your way into his heart?
4. Offensive Lineman—He may not be the sexiest guy on the field, but he may make the best boyfriend. Think about this: the offensive line blocks on every play and are incredibly strategic players. They do a thankless job to help the team. Could an offensive lineman do that wonderful job for you?
5. Tight End—Tight ends are a hybrid of offensive linemen and receivers. Sometimes he’s blocking, and other times he is catching passes. If you like the work that a lineman could do for you, coupled with a little more athleticism, a tight end may be the one for you.
6. Defensive Tackle—He does much of the dirty work in the middle of the defense. His job is literally to take up space in the center of the field to make it harder for running backs to find a lane. He could potentially take up space in the center of your heart?
7. Defensive End/Outside Linebacker—He rushes the quarterback on every play. He has one goal, destroy another player. Saying he has a mean streak is an understatement. But not everyone is one-sided; he must have a soft side, as well. One extra note, Harvard’s outside linebacker Zach Hodges is one of the best defensive players ever to come out of Harvard. He is currently projected to be picked in the top three rounds of April’s NFL Draft. Can we say fame and fortune?
8. Middle Linebacker—He runs the show for the defense. He reacts to the offense’s movement and repositions each defensive player. He then reacts himself and makes a play. This means he can think on his feet and will change things up to always make you a priority.
9. Defensive Back—He is the last line of defense. He must be quick enough to keep up with running backs and receivers in order to prevent the other team from gaining rushing yards. Ladies, you are in luck this season because Norman Hayes, the 141st captain of Harvard football, is in fact, a defensive back.
10. Kicker and Punter—They may not be on the field for every play, but once they step onto the field, they mean business. Kickers and punters are good under pressure and have to be able to kick accurately, no matter the distance. With all that legwork, these players could trade in their cleats for dancing shoes, and take out for a night on the town.
Whatever you choose to do this weekend at The Game, make sure to have fun with it. Don’t let stereotypes stop you from stepping into the fray of a team or club or even the opposing school. Harvard-Yale can be a place where love blossoms, and if it happens to be with a football player, remember the above tips.
Peyton Fine ’17 (peytonfine@college) wants you to enjoy this amazing rivalry weekend. In all seriousness, let these characterizations play no role in your decisions on love with a player, a member of a club, or even someone from Yale. Just enjoy all that comes with The Game.